No profound thoughts today. Just glad I travel the way I do. So many people are dashing in and out of this city in 1 night. I get to relax and explore the surrounding area.
Day 12- 29/12/15 (Complete confusion)
So I woke up with a plan to hike. The weather was crappy so I sat for hours trying to decide what I wanted to do instead. I kept sitting there thinking of all the other ways I could have planned my trip to fit in more activities or cities. The problem is, that in a day and age when I meet all these all travelers, and see what they are doing, I want so badly to do it too. I feel so overwhelmed with the constant need to see, and do, and experience it all. So much so, that I can't even say that I have actually traveled any one county completely.
I sat for the whole morning and criticized myself for planning the trip wrong. I could have fit in another city if I had done it backwards, or maybe spent another day in Prague to take another day trip. I want so much to do and see it all in travel, that sometimes I actually freeze and am unable to do anything.
I became so frustrated with my indecision, that I just locked up all my crap except for my camera and journal and took a random walk. And in this walk, I learned something about myself. I am not as flexible as I think I am. Not in day to day and certainly not in my life. And I think it is my greatest fault that I cannot change. I plan, and I plan, and the plans never work.
Eventually I ended up at the castle gardens, sat down on a bench, and I sobbed. And It felt damn good.
Maybe I cried out of frustration. Maybe out of homesickness. Or maybe my body functions were just out of wack from traveling for a week in half, eating crappily, and not sticking to any sort of routine. Then I thought...
THIS. This is why I planned the trip like this. I wanted time to sit and reflect on my experiences and my life. Maybe I actually do know myself after all. Maybe it is okay to have a day to relax and read and do nothing. Maybe it's already to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee without having to engage in an experience other than the simplicity of time with yourself.
Also... I should point out how crazy it is that I had this thought in southern Czech Republic, in the gardens of a castle, in a city whose name means "Meanders." Just sitting there wondering if I should hop a train to this city or that. What is life?!?!
Day 12- 30/12/15 (Ceske Budejovice)
I will always have some desire inside me to be wrapped up in some mans arms. And sometimes I wonder if this is a feeling that has been engraved in me since birth? Or, if it is simply the fact that I'm a woman, that has led me to this disposition. I am free and independent and content to be so, but at the end of the day we all desire companionship in some various form. I crave the comfort, but the complication is too much to desire.
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I'm sick. I should have bought juice, but for 50 cents I can get half a liter of beer, and juice is double that!
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My new favorite smell: Malt at breweries. Yum! I just did the true Czech think and had unfiltered unpasteurized beer for medicinal purposes.
Day 13- 31/12/15 (Hiking/Relax)
It is amazing how when you are on the road simple things can help so much. Like washing your hair, shaving your legs, or cutting your nails. I feel human again...
Day 14-1/1/16
Let's sleep all day long. After spending the early morning hours rocking out to some classic rock, sung in Czech swigging back beers with people who didn't speak a lick of English.
There is a part of me in you. I love doing new things but at that pace you found yourself time two around. Discover it and sit back and enjoy it. I can do that from almost amywhere. Even my own familiar backyard has discovery for me. Can't wait to see my live fence this summer. Especially when I will be away and return to see how much it has changed. And my newly transplanted raspberry plants that will produce fruit for me to enjoy. I do like familiar people to enjoy it with though.
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