I love trains!
Also, I miss my balcony, my guitar, and my garden and usual Friday night Black Sheep and clubhouse. I'm coming Tivat....
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There is something to be said for listening to your music as the world is passing in the window next to you.
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This is the first time I can see legit changes in who I am. When did I become calm, cool and collective? Able to collect my thoughts inside and keep my distance from stress and emotion. I like this version of myself. I think I'll keep her.
Day 35 (5/8/16)- Zagreb
My dad said "This is as bad as the lines at a Packer game," as we dealt with tourist lines, and my mom said "This is such a me day" as we hiked outside past waterfalls. In these momentsI became very grateful for my roots and the influence they had on me. My parents and I don't have a lot in common, but the things we do are pretty awesome, and have greatly shaped me.
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I am starting to realize how stressful life is going to be when I get home. I'm feeling completely ready to conquer it and simultaneously so not wanting to.
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At any given moment we can have so many various outlooks on life. Depending on who we are with, what we are under the influence of, and mostly our attitude. It is dumbfounding. I refuse to be anything but amazed with the world around me.
Day 36 (6/8/16)- Zagreb
I am realizing how much more than love goes into a marriage and I worry I will never find anything close enough to get me through. I'm just a cactus tree being free.
Day 37 (7/8/16)- Transfer to Split
I am so ready to touch my guitar, to hug my bartender, and sleep in my bed. I want to make coffee in my mug and eat off my own plate. And laundry. And sunsets. I miss my friends. I'm ready to go home and with each mountain we pass it is clearer where "home" is. I will be single for forever in Montenegro.
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Sometimes you don't realize how hight the mountain is until you have climbed it, admired the view, and then have to make your decent. And I'm not referring to a literal mountain.
Day 38 (8/8/16) Split
My home is with the trees and skies above me.
Day 39 (9/8/16) Split
I am starting to crave Montenegro in the most obvious way. And the worst part is that I am starting to wonder if I'm meant to stay there for forever. In all honesty, every time I travel I get further and further from ever wanting to go home Yet I keep wondering if I'm really screwing myself for the other part of the life I want by staying. I'm just not sure if I can ever see myself not traveling. I'm also wondering about taking this plunge of long term travel. Will I be too old when I can finally afford to do it?
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I chose this lonely life. I hate it, and yet with everything in me I am so content to just be here and now. Little stresses are nothing and I'm just learning that "Trusting Things Beyond Mistake" is my new motto. Mistakes are all part of this journey.
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Every time my parents visit you can tack on more time abroad because they make me remember all the reasons I love my life abroad so much. They make me want to travel while I am young and open-minded. See ya in 20 years USA...
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| The most beautiful thing I have ever read... |
Day 41 (11/8/16) Supetar
I am so confused. I seems every time I get settled in a place it is time to decide if and where I want to go next. I just can't settle.
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I am anxious to be home, and not at all ready for what the next 2 months is. I don't know what emotion to feel, so I think I just do "distraction" until I have to face the emotions that have been beating in my heart for the last 6 weeks. I won't feel what I need to feel, because I refuse to ever be broken the way I was before again.
I only have long distance relationships it would seem. Odd...and yet, I am so thankful for all of them.
Day 42 (12/8/16)
Wow. 42 days of travel. I managed to only lost a raincoat and jacket. I was only stranded like twice, and I managed to come out more than 100 Euros ahead of budget. Can I say I'm proud? Is that narcissistic? I am amazed as how much I have grown since I first set off on this grand adventure 4 years ago, and I can't imagine my life any other way.
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Today on the ferry I saw a mom carrying an extra large backpack while holding her daughters hand. I marveled at how that could, one day, be me. My mom said it couldn't, because I'd make my daughter carry her own pack. An honest statement.
And that sums up this trip. Once again I'm feeling completely lost when it comes to my future decisions, but so thankful for where this journey has and will continue to take me. Trusting things beyond mistake. I'm ready for the next tattoo....
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