You really ease your anxiety as travel goes on. It becomes natural and normal. You just understand what you are doing, and have no need to think things through.
Day 18 (19/7/16)- Warsaw
I can already sense my annoyance with this currency. The largest bill is the equivalent of 25 euros and it seems impossible to break because nothing cost more than 4 Euros.
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I am sitting eating a banana. In a square. In Poland. What. The. Fuck Also, you can't eat anything in squares in Europe, because the pigeons will kill you.
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The world needs to wake up and realise we are repeating past mistakes. We have a Hitler in our midst, but he hates more than Jews. Even as a middle class while American female I do not feel safe. Luckily I sense more resistance this time around.
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I am exhausted. 12 hours on my feet walking this city. All I want to do is drink my beer and sleep. But this man has to keep showing me pictures of these "things" he saw at the Palace. I hate things to begin with. Don't even get me start on PICTURES of things. Especially insignificant ones like some princess' hairbrush.
Day 19 (20/7/16)- Warsaw
I forgot about my hatred for museums just long enough to enter one and instantly regret it.
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People might be right about the novelty of travel wearing off. It's not that I don't appreciate it, I just become accustomed and notice less of the differences.
Day 20 (21/7/16)- Warsaw to Wroclaw
Travel has so much to do with the people you meet. They really set the vibes for better or worse.
Day 21 (22/7/16)- Wroclaw
Frustration! I feel like I am at kids camp only in an entire country. Really killing the joy of travel right now.
Day 22 (23/7/16)- Wroclaw
I could give up. I could just be finished and call it quits. This would be the safe route to choose, and maybe I'll still get there. But I can't do that yet. I can't continue to sacrifice parts of my life becuase of my selfishness. At some point I'm going to have to leap.
So I know how I could end up broken with a mind full of regret for trusting this instinct, but that can be dealt with. I'm going to continue to pour all of myself into all of this until I have nothing left to give.
When you haven't had any time to yourself for awhile and you catch a bus, put on your tunes and instantly feel better about life.
Day 25 (26/7/16) Krakow
I cannot describe how physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting traveling solo is. Today consisted of line after line, crowds, trying to figure out public transit and multiple anxiety attacks. That being said....traveling solo is the most rewarding experience and I am so grateful that I get to live THIS amazing life.
Day 26 (27/7/16) Auschwitz
No words.
Day 27 (28/7/16) Zakopane
" I ain't never been to Vegas, but I've gambled up my life." I consistently feel this way. Each time I have taken a chance to move somewhere new or have some opportunity have been gambles with the highest odds, and the best wins.
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Buses not showing up=tears. I need a day!
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I met a group of guys in the mountains. We compared maps and trail routes, both completely lost. They asked if I was alone and I responded with a yes. They asked if I was scared and mentioned hiking in these mountains was quite dangerous. "Yes!" I wanted to scream, but I replied with a very confident sounding no. I could slip and crack open my skull. I could pass out or get lost and freeze to death. I only slept 4 hours last night, I'm dehydrated , and hungry. Why do I push myself so much? Because there is a joy in reaching those limitations and working your way through and past them.
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I usually only take selfies when I'm hiking or out in nature. Why? Because even though I'm in gross old clothes, sweating with messy unwashed hair and no make-up this is when I truly feel alive, confident, happy, and like the best version of myself.
I kind of understand. When we were in Kotor and 3 sets of stairs from the top I'm saying to Dad we have to go to the top. And he says you also have to get back to the bottom. A bit disappointed because I have limitations I agreed. But I'm still kind of sorry I didn't go to the top. I'll never understand the traveling abroad alone part. But I love to be alone when I get to those mountain- waterfall spots. It seems to me like the rest of the world just wants to get there. I want to stay there when I arrive and enjoy it forever. Not just move on to the next sight.
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