Untitled 8

25/4/17

It becomes difficult to appreciate things that become commonplace.

30/4/17

I just went rafting with a huge group of people passing around beers and homemade liquor. I belong here so much. I'm already sad about leaving and it's not even close to time yet.

13/4/17

Sometimes you meet people so full of life that their joy rubs off on you a little bit. Their simple smile at the littlest thing, and the light that shines in their eye as they smile at you means more than they could understand. Thank you for reminding me what life is all about, and making my heart feel happy again. Even if only for a little while.

15/5/17

I think I'll go back to being an adult now. Sorry liver. I wish I could remember twice the amount of drunk conversations. I need to start recording things.

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Every decision you make is right.

16/5/17

When you want and need to write, but have no words to put any of your feelings into a proper description of emotion.

17/5/17

I wonder how it is possible to create something so vivid in one short week. How did we manage to create so many inside jokes? How did that smile gain so much meaning? And how is it that our bodies and souls seemed to fit so perfectly together? Connections like this are what make my life so incredible, and yet I do not want to do anymore of these goodbyes. I'm trying to learn to accept things for what they are, and the lesson inside them, and then let them go.

23/5/17

A whirlwind of emotion leave me feeling confused about the purpose of this life. Connection? Growth? Happiness? Where do I go from here? Kazakhstan....

24/5/17

The lesson to be taken away from this: Even when I'm not hoping or searching for them, these heart-wrenching(in a good way) connections happen, which, in the end, cause me painful goodbyes. May as well open my heart up to them if they are going to happen without my intent.

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Time is a fickle thing. It's there and then suddenly it's gone.

28/5/17

I'm finding it more and more difficult to connect with "home".

"Home"

1/6/17

I still look at myself in the mirror and have no clue who I am. Where do these decisions come from?

11/6/17

one-fourth of me still thinks I should be staying, another fourth of me is desperately ready to be in Kazakhstan. One-fourth of my heart is in Saudi and the other fourth is nudging me in the direction of "quit everything and travel." And because I feel yanked in so many directions I need to get grounded in the present. So, I walk to my spot and realize I have forgotten my headphones. Forced silence leads to tears. I love being alone until I hate it.

14/6/17
I can ask the question until I lose my voice, but the answer will still be the same. We won't know until we know.
15/6/17

"death exists, not as the opposite but as part of life."Haruki Murakami

20/6/17

Things I've been holding onto: My first pair of hiking boots (totally worn to bits with holes) and my first real backpack (broken and unrepairable strap) These things have been places with me. They were there through those mental breakdowns and those incredible sights more than anything or anyone else has been.

23/6/17

I really need to leave this all behind me and start over.

27/6/17

Don't worry about what other people say. "Just do you." Best advice ever. Sometimes I feel like such a selfish asshole for doing life this way, but I'm making the best decisions for me. Aren't we all just making decisions for the benefit of being happy? And I am the happiest I've ever been. Ever.
29/6/17
I'm not ready. I'm never ready.