I was wondering why this trip hadn't involved any anxiety attacks. Then we hit the city and I felt like I was back in Jakarta. Complete claustrophobia set in, and I pretty much immediately needed my music to help myself chill out.
This is life. You can't win at everything. This song came on(not my usual type of music) and was perfect for the city and describing what I felt at this moment. I'm in one of those places where I feel like I just have to tread to keep my mind about the water.
As I look at the people around me on the bus I wonder if the six degrees of separation is true. Do I have common connections to these random people?
March 30th 2016
In travels I have found that my favourite parts aren't the tours of beautiful sights or the extreme adventuring. The best days are the ones spent in parks or cafes, people watching and seeing the locals interact. This is the way you really get a taste for a culture.
 |
| The tree! |
April 1st 2016
I am ashamed of the fear I felt today as I passed 3 armed men and realized that meant I was in a dangerous part of Istanbul.
In reality I instantly thought to myself "I should be staying in this part of the city. I should be facing this fear."
I think that is a sign that, overall I'm growing. As I take a minute to reflect on life I realize that I'm putting myself in situations that stretch my mind and challenge my physical capabilities. I'm improving my ability to budget and do without "things." And, everyday, I learn a little bit more about who I am and what I want out of life.
April 2nd 2016
More Tom Robbins Love! It's as if this man is my soul mate and understands me so deeply:
"You see, at this juncture in my life I wasn't evolved enough to understand the fluid nature of romantic love (its indifference to human craving for permanence and certainty ); its uncivilized undomesticated nature (less like a pretty melody than a foxish barking at the moon), or, more importantly perhaps, that it's a privilege to love someone, to truly love them; and while it's paradisiacal if she or he loves you back, it's unfair to demand or expect reciprocity. We should consider ourselves lucky, honored, blessed that we possess the capacity to feel tenderness of such magnitude and be grateful even when that love is not returned. Love is the only game in which we win even when we lose." - Tom Robbins, Tibetan Peach Pie
Love is fluid and changing. It is hard to accept the difficult portions of it. This quote makes me recognize yet another reason to live in the present moment. My love for people, and cities, and music, and experiences cannot be the same tomorrow as it is today. That is incredible.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It sucks when things don't work out the way you want them to, but I am beginning to realize that things always seem to work out in the end. Not always the way you expected, or with the best end results, but they always work out in some way.
I was told to guard my heart, but when has "playing it safe" ever gotten anyone anywhere worth going?
I crave unexplored territory: the widest rivers, the highest mountains, and the deepest seas. The wide open countryside, and the teeniest corners of cities.
I crave passion that keeps me striving, joy that distinguishes disappointment, and love worth working for.
 |
| Another tree :) |
April 3rd 2016
Its great when you return home feeling satisfied with what you could do with the time given to you. Ready to go home to my guitar, some fresh air, laundry, my french press, home cooking, sunsets, and possibly even a bit of ridiculous dancing as I listen to happy corny love songs. Yes, yes and yes!
Maybe you should become a journalist? Just saying.....sometimes your writing is so inspiring. Love you!
ReplyDelete