Running trails, bikes, and rails

I am sitting on a stoop writing this blog. It's been a day. A day I needed, a day I was partially dreading and a day of the truest emotions I've been able to comprehend for awhile.

My favorite place in the world. 

I woke up this morning after one too many beers and thought to myself: Hey this is life. You only have a few days left in this city so get up and just go. So I did.

Can you understand why...

I went to one of my favorite spots for breakfast and then headed to my old running trail for to meet up with my old running buddy and see what was new. So much had changed, and so much was the same. We reminisced about all our past memories and crazy experiences of the area as we caught up on where we both were now. I took pictures along the way to remind myself how incredible this city is. 

Little Bridges 

Then I headed to the university area and walked around Dinkytown noticing how the new parts of it reminded me so much of everything I hated in Indonesia.

35-W bridge

I rode my bike with the intention of just driving past my old place and continuing on, but something stopped me. There was so much more in this neighborhood than I ever knew. I started to remember things and I zigzaged up and down streets. I found myself becoming nostalgic about the bike path I took to work. 

Mill City 

The house where I had my first drink. The place where I almost broke up with my first boyfriend after too much whiskey. The place with the double kegger. The door he snuck out of. The alley I smiled too much in.  The house where I won flip cup. The place my friend did her first keg stand. The spot where I went on that random date. The places of first kisses. The house where I lost my glasses...and underwear. The coffeehouse I studied in. The dog that would run up to that fence to meet me on my afternoon runs. The spot where I realized my ankle was seriously hurt and I wouldn't be able to run the half marathon. The place where I did my processing. The place where I fell apart. The place where I knew I wanted to be whole again. The place I made dreams I will never fulfill. The place I made new dreams. The sidewalk where I told my mom I was moving abroad. The swing I fell in love with songs on. The place I cried when I didn't know if I could leave. 

Beautiful view of the city 

Life is made up of these moments. These little joys, pains, excitements, regrets, and lessons. And when you put them all together you create a life. It's cliché to say that college years are the best and most life changing ones of your life,but in a small way I think it is true. You grow, not always forward, but always toward the person you are meant to be. And it's cliche but true to say, that everything works out how it should. 

We absolutely tried to walk across...and then decided we needed a few whiskeys first

I owe all of you who joined me on this journey so much. Thank you for the memories, the smiles , the heartbreak, the runs, the campfires, drunken nights, and lessons. 

You ask me where I'm from well this is where I'm from...

What compels me to go from this place? Why must I leave? Life here is so much and so good and feels right. 

But I love my life abroad too, and I'm so excited to start a new chapter of myself.  Don't worry Minneapolis. You are my one true love and I will be back for you.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time biking around your bike highways

My First Week in Tivat

I can't believe I've already been here for a week, and at the same time I feel like I've already been here a month. Time for an update I guess.

No filter. I swear it!

I'll start by saying that I love it here! That's not to say it's not going to have it's challenges, or that I always will, but most of the expats I have talked to say the love for this place continues as long as you put in some effort.

5 minute walk from my apartment

My apartment is small, but in a cozy single girl way. It suits me well and reminds me of my place in Albania. The things I'm still looking for are drawers, and kitchen electronics such as a blender and food processor. I have seen these things, but not to the extent where I'm going to have lots of choices. At first I kept thinking I could just wait for larger stores. After going to the supermarket today I realize that there are not choices. I'll purchase these items as soon as I have an income and see them again. Also my landlord is amazing. He's teaching me little bits about the culture, and has already told me he often has friends over to play cards and drink in his "smoke room" (traditional thing I need to learn more about to explain.) He invited me to join in and promised to take me on his boat sometime!

Did I mention we have a huge garden? With 4 pet turtles!

waiting for you....

I also cannot for the life of me find good coffee. Honestly, I didn't realize how spoiled I was in Indonesia. All the coffee here is pre-ground, which is alright for me right now since I don't have my blender, but....it is so fine that it doesn't work very well in my coffee press, unless I wait a long time for it to sink to the bottom. I have actually been relying on instant coffee, which just is not going to cut it once I start work. Espresso is cheap at the cafes, but I don't really want to have to spend 20 minutes stopping to sip coffee on my way to work. Maybe I can work out a deal with the owner of a place to bring them little to-go cups and stop through on my way each morning?

1 Euro!

I'm finding that if you are a little bit warm towards the people they will be warm back. Today I went to the fruit/veg market (I finally found it after talking to fellow expats last night) and once I introduced myself as a teacher the girl at the stall said if I had any questions or needed help to ask her. I'm told it is important to learn a bit of the language just to by kind. So far I still only know thank you. I'm going to try to do 2-3 words a day from now on. I also noticed while the nice restaurants have menus translated in English, the cheaper ones do not. Additionally a lot of the packages at the markets are not translated. So I think learning the words for different foods will be my first task.

7 Euros worth of fresh produce!

Also, I'm going to miss international food. There are no Thai or Indian restaurants here. That being said, I'm looking very forward to getting experimental in cooking.

My school is a bit like the others I've taught it. New, small, and not very organized. I think i'll love it here as the staff seems to be a team who just pull together and make it all work for the best.

And the staff! I cannot get over how warm everyone is. They are so helpful and welcoming. I haven't even met half of them yet. Last night I went out for drinks with the MYP coordinator, and a high school teacher and his wife. We had a great chat and I've already been invited to watch Sunday football with the guys and join in running club. There is a 10K coming up in 3-4 weeks that I just may sign up for as a little motivator.

I thought I started work the first Monday of August, but as it turns out I started a week later, so I ended up taking a little trip to Podgorica, the capital. There wasn't much to do, and it was blazing hot, but it was nice to hang in the hostel and meet travelers who got me thinking about my potential winter break plans.

random bar in Podgorica

Evening stroll in Podgorica Old Town

It was so hot that all I did during my 2 days in Podgorica was drink beer and swim here. 

So far I am loving the people, the wine, and the ease with which moving has come. I'm looking forward to starting work on Monday after a lazy weekend of cleaning, cooking, and organizing.

Where I Belong

It's odd how you can't ever really prepare for a goodbye. You would think I'd be getting this down after all these years of leaving, but it always seems to hit me in different ways.

Albania was mostly excitement and fear. I didn't really have time to deal with the emotions of others. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I cried when I left, and had a good mental breakdown in Turkey. When I finally arrived at the hotel I just lay awake and cried for hours. Every single day was a struggle until it just wasn't. Honestly, after 9 months I wanted to see everyone, but I had no desire to go home. After 2 weeks in America, I was sick of it.

It was easy to leave for Indonesia. The only real hard part for me was not knowing when I'd see everyone again. I cried a little, but once I was on my way I was perfectly fine. I got there, and loved it instantly. It took awhile for me to realize it wasn't at all what I wanted out of life. I grew bored, and longed for days of exploration and friends with the same views on the world.

After not being home for 2 years, every part of me was aching to see my family and friend again. I thought 4.5 weeks would be far to long. Surprise! It wasn't. I packed my days with all the things I loved about home, and I fell in love with the idea of having a life there. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this means that in a few years I'll be ready. My mind was there, but my heart just wasn't.

When I said goodbye this time it was different. It felt wrong. As my niece sobbed when I hugged her I realized how big she was getting. She understood what was happening. It was tough to stomach this. I didn't want to be hurting the people I loved. When I said goodbye to my brother's girlfriend and her kids it was equally difficult. Here was this whole new part of my family I wanted to stick around and get to know. Her daughter even said it wasn't fair she just met me and now I was leaving. My brother took me to the airport and I had a hell of a time dealing with checking in my massive amount of luggage on a machine, while simultaneously trying not to vomit over everything. I said goodbye to Daryn at security and halfway thought the line, thought to myself I could just turn around. I could. It would suck, and be difficult to figure out,  but if I wanted to, I could quit. I held my spot and made it though. Then I found the nearest spot to sit down and bawled my eyes out. I heaved and sobbed, and let the tears run down and soak the front of my shirt. I just lost it, in front of the entire Minneapolis airport. I messaged my mom and my friend and they were both super supportive, but I just did not want to board the plane. 

Lets be real guys I had a rough day. Mostly I just felt like I was going to hurl anytime I moved (due to about 3 too many Surlys, and 2 too many double day trippers, and watching a super cute guy rock out on the mandolin until way too late the night before.) I finally managed to get some fruit down right before my flight from Chicago (which left at 10pm)...thank goodness. Seriously guys...it was a bad one. Next time my going away party needs to be a full day in advance.

The good that came from this was that after I ate dinner on the plane I was actually able to sleep for a full 3-4 hours on and off, which made the flight go super fast. 1 movie with dinner, nap, 30 minutes of reading and one movie with breakfast. My layover in Finland was super fast. Basically I had time to check in with the world, admire the cute men that passed me as I charged my phone for 10 minutes, and time to pee.

I took a brief nap on my 3 hour flight to Croatia and then read/listened to music.

I saw the mountains when we began our decent into Croatia, and I new instantly I was home. For real home. I had some issues with baggage (one got lost) which was annoying, basically because I had no way to contact the driver to make sure he didn't leave without me thinking I was one of those teachers who backed out last minute (which I almost was.) Thank goodness for smartphones: I was able to find the school's information via previous emails. I gave it, and the school phone number, to the lady at the lost baggage desk so that they will be able to ship my last bag when it arrives.

The driver was still patiently waiting and hauled the rest of my luggage to the car. I prepared myself for a drive, but what I got was one incredible feeling after another. I noticed so many little things that made me remember how much I loved my life in the Balkans.

The first was a pig crossing sign. Yep. Then I started to remember this landscape as I noticed the tall pine trees. I forgot how much I loved those. The next sight that made me smile was an old lady walking on the highway carrying what was presumably olive oil, but was more likely homemade rakia (liquor made from grapes.) I remembered all the road trips we took as I noticed the signs that tell you when you are leaving a city rather then letting you know which city you are in. I just couldn't stop smiling. As the diver asked me for my passport to cross the Montenegrin boarder I noticed one of the most beautiful sights in the world: A full moon rose over the mountains and below the city lights twinkled and reflected in the water. At first I wanted to stop and take a picture, and then I realized it was one of those moments I wouldn't be able to capture for anyone else. This one was all mine.

There is something to be said for moments when you feel in your heart that you are right where you are meant to be. Montenegro...prep yourself. I had a small thought of "I should just stay here for a long time." 

I Say Goodbye As It Fades Away

When I left to teach abroad I thought I would be returning two years later. Therefore I had saved what I presumed to be a few small boxes of things for my return. Stuff that you just don't want to reinvest in because, well, money adds up.

Unfortunately what I actually saved was way more than I thought. 25 boxes in total. Full of "stuff" I thought I'd want. It was my major goal to get rid of most of them while I was home. There is no need for my parents to hold on to this junk for the next 5-10 years. I can buy new junk when I come home.

So one day I started to hoard through the piles in the crowded basement storage area, determined to whittle it down to a small box or two. Thinking it would be an easy task I grabbed a beer, set up my computer with music and began to open box after box wondering why I decided to keep clothes, and shoes, and towels, and pots and pans, and lamps, and dvd players. Which each box I opened I giggled more and more at my stupidity. Then as I opened the box containing my grandmas old olive dishes, and noticed my prom dress I had once intended to use for my wedding, I began to I break completely down.

Was this really the life I once wanted? Had I wanted to live a domesticated life with rows of photo albums and piles of books on display? Did I once think I needed 3 pairs of high heels, and fancy decorations to cover my walls? I save every note and every doll from childhood. I saved lists, and writings about my hopes and dream. Why do I live in the past?

I cry and cry and think to myself I cannot do this. I cannot fit my life into 2 suitcases and 2 backpacks. It simply isn't possible. I message my friend just to remind myself that there are people in the world who do far more difficult. There are people who do this with just a backpack, and no boxes in their parents basement. But I let the tears fall, because other than a brief 1 minute-cry post 4 beers, while texting my ex at the airport leaving Indonesia,  I have felt nothing for so long.

The song "Find it" by Family of the Year comes on. A song that so graciously shakes my core from the inside out.

"I say goodbye as it fades away
Out past those trees I'm gonna find my way
Please don't be scared for me
I'm big and I'm strong
You had to know that I would leave all along"

I toss out thing after precious thing, until I have only a few boxes of items to save and a few to still go through. Goodbye life I thought I wanted. I'm gonna leave you behind for better days and better ways. At least for the next few years.

Fears and Excitment

I am laying in bed listening to the drones of traffic outside, and wondering how I am going to sleep in in 2 months when the sounds are completely different. I am scared. I am freaking out inside.

With every move I have made so far I felt fear, but not this numbingly painful sort.  I am scared shitless of moving to Tivat, and can't tell anyone. Maybe because for the first time I have a slight idea of what to expect. I know what will be easy and what will be hard. I won't be able to find the comforts of home. No matter how hard I search there will not be salt and vinegar potato chips. There will be no DQ birthday cakes, or to-go coffees. 

Shopping will seem impossible again. I won't be able to head to the mall to visit various shops, some of which have American sizes. Maybe this is why I have stock piled far too many clothes. 

There won't be hundreds of medical centers to choose from. So if any of my "conditions" that I may or may not have worsen, I have no idea what I'll do. 

If I need a new hiking backpack there won't be camping shops to provide such a thing, and good luck finding new running socks.

There won't be expat bars and neighborhoods, and there won't be dozens of international schools, filled with other expats in the same situation.

If the power goes out, it goes out and I use candles. If the water isn't heated I take a cold shower. If the internet connection at home isn't working chances are the internet on my phone won't work either.

I am freaking out inside because I can't get up the courage to teach myself Montenegrin. Or to research any potential trips. Or ask questions about my job. Or be realistic that I don't need to take so much crap with me. 

I am scared to go somewhere I've been before, because for the first time I know the challenges that face me, and I've changed. Again, I've changed into an urban girl who enjoys her comforts and technology. For a little while I was going to become her permanently. 

I have to remind myself that I don't know it. It has been two years, and I'm sure it's not completely the same. I still have shops to explore, and culture to learn. I have streets to walk and coffees to drink. I have students to learn and new friends to share stories with and love.

And all these things that scare me are why I loved Albania. The simplicity of life. I made use of what I had and was given and If I needed something I found a way. I was forced out of my comfort zone everyday and I learned to live as best I could.

Once again I'm looking at my life and finding it incredible how where you are an who you spend time with can change and effect you so easily. Choose wisely my friends.

So because I'm trying to be a more happy and optimistic person I made a list of things I'm excited for:
cold weather
fall colors
Boots and sweaters
being able to watch packer games again
New friends
New and cheaper beer!
Wine
Teaching grade 3/4

nearby national parks
Living ( for real) by the sea
Living ( for real) by the mountains
Quiet nights
Delicious seafood
bakeries
Living alone
My porch! Which I intend to have plants on. So....
Plants

Falling in Love with a whole new chapter of life. 

The Balkans!!! 

Okay I feel better now. Time for bed. 

Hey Montenegro....guess what...I think I'm going to fall head over heels in love with you!

About Me

Hello There! If you are reading this page it either means you are my friend/family, or you are planning on visiting or moving to Montenegro. I would say congrats if either one of those is true.

So a little bit about me: I’m a teacher, who decided she was crazy in love with the world and wanted to see it all. Now if you know anything about teaching in America you will know that it doesn’t pay well, and if you know anything about America you will know that a higher education costs a TON of money. So when I graduated with my Bachelors of Elementary education and then put a year of grad school on top of it, I came out with about 60 grand of debt and this massive desire to do SOMETHING with my life. So how to make it all work?

Move abroad.

 It is much cheaper to travel around Asia when you live in Asia and it is much quicker to get to Germany if you are living in Europe.

So I took my highly introverted, afraid of change self, and made a decision to just do it. I began to apply to jobs all over and was lucky enough to land a first grade teaching job in Albania. Now this wasn’t at all where I planned on starting out, but I decided to go for it. The plan was to spend 2 fantastic years there, traveling all over Europe, and then head home.

The world had a far different plan for me. I had no idea how huge this world was. I met a fantastic group of friends and co-workers there and between their stories, and the amazing, but small amount of travel I managed to fit in I decided that 2 years wouldn’t be enough.

After a year in Tirana, I moved to Jakarta Indonesia for 2 years where I continued to teach first grade and grow as both a teacher and traveller. After 2 years I was ready for a change but didn’t really know where I wanted to go. Part of me wanted to stay in Asia and continue to have crazy beach adventures and visit a vast amount of temples, but really after about 6 months in Jakarta I was already feeling the pull back to the Balkans.

Initially, I applied everywhere, and lucky for me one of the jobs I felt torn to was in Montenegro. With a little stroke of luck, I got a job teaching 3^rd/4^th grade at an international school in Tivat.

So this blog will be dedicated to my life around the Balkans. I plan to go everywhere and try everything, but as I know from past experience plans seldom work. So please enjoy reading about my adventures, trials, and life in Montenegro.